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July 16th, 2005

08:23 pm
so a whole bunch of us (like, 8 friends) were going to an all ages show to see milka (they kick ass...) but it was okay because we had jack daniels in pepsi bottles and a bar on the corner. there were some crappy bands before milka came on, so us "of legal agers" took off to the bar. on the way we notice the voodoo doughnut shop. very interesting pastries.

so i'm good and fuckrd when milka starts their set. it's all WOOOOO!!!'s and FUCK YEAH!!!'s. between songs i was talking to this girl we weren't with and she mentioned that voodoo doughnut has a cock and balls doughnut. in a rare quiet moment i repeated, maybe a little too loudly, "COCK AND BALLS DOUGHNUT!! GOTTA GET ME ONE OF THOSE!!"

and my best friend jess hits me. she's looking at me like i'm fucking satan. she's angrily whispering to me that i'm being disruptive and i embarassed the girl i was talking to. i've got way too much whiskey in my blood to not react...

so i'm like, fuck you, and take off to the bar alone. this girl is at the corner table outside taking pictures of strangers and she pours me a beer. and i tell her what happened and my other bf diedre comes around. she's like, jess is pissed. i'm like, i don't fucking care. so the show is over and the whole crew comes around the corner and jess starts yelling at me again. so i yell back. she's really pissing me off. long story short(toolate...) i decide i need to hit something and i've got so much anger and whiskey in me that i choose the hardest iron lightpost in portland.

two blocks later i notice my hand is bent funny.

"OH FUCK!! I BROKE MY HAND!!" we go home and jess is all apologies and i love you's and "here, let's ice it." no ice in the freezer as usual so she dumps a bag of those cheapo popscicles in a bowl and plunges my hand in it. in the meantime, all the boys are like, "MAN UP BITCH! YOU'RE A TOUGH GIRL!!" cuz im sitting in the kitchen sobbing and getting anyone i can to light my bong. quietly sobbing and trying to decide whether or not to go to the hospital.

i didn't go and my right hand is permanently deformed. still as useful where it counts but it looks funny. the pinkie kinda veers off to the right and underneath the pinkie knuckle is an obvious bend. luckily i like battle scars.
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: cky-dressed in decay

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July 15th, 2005

12:21 pm - my best drunk story
thursday nights was drink or drown at the opera house.  $5 all you can drink all night.  how great is that?  granted it is cheap shitty liqour but hey, you are a poor college kid who needs alcohol.  my 2 roommates, bonnie (who i have known for 5 years or so, went to highschool together) and liz (a crying drunk.  cries at everything.  all around loser) live in a house.  all our friends love that so on thursday night, the drink starts at 5pm.  all our friends come over, bonnie and i who are 21 go to the store and load up, we get ready to go out while getting high, playing drinking games and other stupid shit.  then we talk the 1/2 a mile down the street to the bar.

bonnie and i were pretty regular there so we took our seats at the bar where john would make our shitty drinks.  bonnie already has a little girl voice but when shes drunk its like a damn baby.  bout an hour after drinking, she turns to me and goes "ash-a-lee!  i gotta goes pee! watch me seat! dont let it go away!"  yea, ok drunk.

ok, so we know it takes a while for girls to go to the bathroom.  but there is a point that a girl goes and the others realize its been too long.  i think like 15 minutes passed and i was like wtf? where did she wander off too?  so i go to find her.  i walk in the bathroom to find bonnie and bucky (bucky was liz's best friend) laughing their asses off and liz crying her ass off.

me:  what the fuck is going on?

liz:  boohoo!

bucky and bonnie:  hahahahaha

finally, bucky turns around and points to the back of her shirt.  there is vomit all over it. 

me:  oh ew.  ok, well first thing, lets get this off of you.  (i helped her take it off)

me:  now can anyone tell me what happened and why this is so funny?

after calming down, bonnie then tells me she was on her way to the bathroom when she felt the sudden urge to throw up come upon her.  so she ran to the bathroom and threw open the first door she thought was free and immediately started vomiting.  she didnt even check to make sure the stall was free.  it wasnt.

bucky was already on her hands and knees vomiting into the toilet in the same stall bonnie had picked.  bonnie ended up vomiting all over bucky.

why liz was crying, i dont know, she cries at everything.

bonnie ended up washing the shirt for bonnie and the next day bonnie said to me, i am so happy it was bucky i vomited on b/c anyone else would have kicked my ass.

yes they would have
Current Mood: still drunk from last night

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June 1st, 2005

09:29 am - drunk story
This looks like the place so here it goes.

Went to a friends house for my 21st birthday celebration. It was a pretty good party but somewhere in there we got the idea that we'd play braveheart the drinking game. Everytime someone dies or looses a limb you drink. This might not have been THAT bad except I was drinking shots of Jaeger. OUCH. So we're playing this thing and 15 mins into the movie I'm completely soused. I decide to go to the bathroom. I didn't have to puke or anything I just needed to go. So I finish in the bathroom and I'm coming out and I trip over the door sill. I flail wildly across the room and crach into a giant octagonal fish tank. The tank slides to the edge og the pedestal it was on and come with in like 1 inch of putting about 40 gallons of water on the floor. I fall on the floor. The lid of the tank with the light fixture and pump and everything falls down inside the tank and smacks my friend Oscar (type of fish) on the head. The fish swims to the top of the tank so fast that it shoots out of the tank and lands in a box of drywall screws sitting next to the tank. My friend runs over can't find the fish...realizes where it's and then put is back in the tank after reashing in the water to retrieve the still powered on light.

Then I crawled into the toilet and well...no need for gorey details I guess. But the aftermath was captured for posterity. I need to find that picture and post it on here probably....

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March 31st, 2005

02:08 pm - uh oh
Ok, sorry to keep going on about this, but I just totally realized the irony of things happening at my house during that saturday night "celebration".

At the beginning of the night, I kept saying "I just dont want anything to get broken!" as I had heard horror stories from my friend Kendall. She had a big party and an entire wall of shelves got ruined and some kid had to rebuild them at 4 in the morning. But any way, so, like, 10 minutes after I said that, some kid sits in my mom's antique rocking chair and it totally crumbles under him. One of the legs fell off and got smashed. Yeah, I should have moved it, but whatever. I did fix it, but there is still a piece missing, meaning either it rolled under the couch, or someone stool it...What anyone would want w/ a chair leg, I dont know...But my mom noticed it was broken anyway...I just told her i sat in it to put my shoes on and broke it and she believed me..haha..

The second thing was that my friend Ben came up to me and said, "I dont know if ur cool w/ marijuana" (like I had never smoked before, yeah right) " but is it ok if i roll a joint over here and clean everything up?" I said sure, b/c in all honesty, I really didnt care. I thought he was going to roll it on the glass coffee table or something...no..I look over and he's rolling it right on my parents' wedding album...of all the places, he had to roll it on a WHITE square

Kids are wierd.......

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March 27th, 2005

01:21 am - wow
So, hey, this is meghan again...so, yeah, i just had a monster party...Its like 1:30 am right now and I am still cleaning up...I hate doing that. Anyway, my 26 yr old brother was not cool w/ this shit and I am sooo afraid of him being massively pissed, especially since someone ate his food...drunk kids will do anything for a buzz....crazy..hope the rents dont find out.

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March 26th, 2005

08:21 am - Aaron, Aaron, Aaron...
So a funny thing happened to my friend the other day...

Alright, so the other night we're at this party, at my friend nate's house... good times as usual. Well, Nate lives right across the street from Aarons Grandma... Well Aaron was getting pretty wasted, which is always funny, cause that kid is crazy when he's drunk- but then again- who isnt? lol. Anyway, so we decided to go jump in the hot tub (now, i should probably mention that I live in Minnesota, and we still have snow and all, so it was damn cold). So we're in the hot tub for a while, and Aaron decides to get out (he's in his boxers) and run to the front of the house, get on top of his car and start dancing. Mmmhmm- that was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Aaron is a uhh... great dancer... *clears throat and starts lmao!* lol. Well, then Aarons Grandma comes out of her house (to let their dog out- I mean, we're loud, but not loud enough that anyone would complain about the noise, although thats happened a couple times) And Aarons like "Look- that lady looks like my grandma! OMG, it is my grandma! Hiiiii Grandma! Sup homie?" At which point his grandma realizes that its Aaron on top of the car, in is boxers, soaking wet, dancing. Yea, well she freaked out, yelled at him, and went back in her house. It was fucking hillarious! So anyway, we had a great time that night, and the next day Aaron went and apologized to his Grandma, and all is good w/ them. So yea... Good times =D
Current Mood: sickhungover
Current Music: a mix

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March 15th, 2005

11:04 pm - Drunken phone calls??? oh no!
hey, im meghan...Im new. I love drunk stories and take great delight in reading them. mine arent so great, but a tad bit interesting nonetheless...

One night in Feb., my friend ashley and I went to a theme party. You had to wear a halloween costume, so she and I went as cowgirls. Our outfits were a huge hit..but after we left the party, we made the mistake of stopping by work while there was a black tie benefit going on (we work at a theater house) and we were soon bombarded by old men asking us if they could dip us in chocolate, as there was a huge chocolate fountain at the benefit. We were looking to get wasted, so we took some beer and a handle from this bartender at work who loves us and split...we ended up in town half the night, where I lost one of my shirt buttons and when we walked into this pizza place, drunk and half naked, the waiters whistled at us and kept staring at our low cut shirts.

Somehow, we made it all the way to my house, which is in the middle of fucking nowhere, and decided it would be wise to have a few guys over. I called my ex and told him to come, and that i wanted to make out with him and he was more than happy too, citing the fact that he was looking for some action. That comment made me feel great (just kidding). He arrived at 3 am and ashley had left to drive this kid home. His name was Leo and although he lives a big mile from my house, it still took ashley an hour and a half to get back. She had her bra hanging out of her shirt, her hair was in complete disarray, and she had a gigantic hicky on her neck...wonder what happened....

I ended up having sex w/ my ex (p.s. it wasnt that great) and he ended up staying the night...I had never slept w/ a boy before (like actually slept w/ him) and I have to say it was quite nice, especially since his body resembles that of a large teddy bear...I had the worst hang over of my life, vodka will forever make me sick and I woke up to the sound of my dog chewing on a condom I had accidently dropped on the floor. It was messy, but I managed to get it cleaned up before my parents got home...I do admit I feel a bit guilty about having sex on their bed...but shit happens i guess :)

Dont live in the past, right?

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March 11th, 2005

12:11 pm
since no one post in here no more, i will.

lets see.. that last time i was drunk i was drinking jager-bomhs all night at this party, then the party got kicked out so we went back to my boyfriends house. my friend had stolen a bottle of jager and a bottle of vodka from the party, and i reallllly wanted the vodka. but my friend left it in his car, so me and my other friend ran to the car grabbed the bottles and ran back to the house screaming our heads off. my friend was holding a beer but b/c we were running he was spilling it all over the place. so i started screaming NOOOO DONT SPILL YOUR BEERR!! and then he screamed I DONT EVEN WANT IT!! so he threw it into the bushes and i screamed YOU DROPPED YOUR BEER, YOU DROPPED IT LIKE IT WAS HOT!!! we fianlly made it back to the house where i just continued to drink vodka out of the bottle til i passed out. yea, im awesome.

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11:10 am
okay, no one posts in here anymore. thats sad.

i would- but i have no time to... maybe later...

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February 26th, 2005

01:18 pm
i stayed up last night with my boyfriend and his friend til 4 in the morning watching bad t.v, eating pretzels, drinking beer..and blue stuff, blue stuff and lots of vodka. yea, good times never seemed so good.
Current Mood: tiredmad tired

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